Sometimes Leaving Is the Clearest Sign You Were Right
There is a particular kind of confirmation that only arrives after a decision has already been made, one that comes not from a mentor, a board, or a strategic plan, but from the body itself.
The longer I stayed in the role of school principal, the sicker I became, the more stressful the work grew, and the more difficult I found it to deal with the people around me. Despite the fact that I had spent nearly a decade working toward that exact position, I had to accept that it was no longer the right assignment for me in that season. The day I finally resigned, without giving the standard two week notice, was the day I began to feel myself getting physically better, quite literally, with every mile that put more distance between me and the campus.
Nearly ten years of pursuit stood behind that role, which makes the decision to leave it considerably more complicated than a simple case of dissatisfaction with a job. A decade of effort creates real weight, professional identity built around a specific goal, relationships and reputation tied to reaching it, a personal narrative about persistence finally paying off. Walking away from something pursued that long requires overcoming far more than the discomfort of a difficult season. It requires overcoming the sense that leaving would somehow invalidate everything invested to get there in the first place.
This is precisely why physical signals can become such a critical, if uncomfortable, source of clarity in situations like this one. Professional identity and personal narrative are both powerful enough to override a great deal of internal doubt, convincing a leader to continue pushing forward even when every other indicator suggests the fit is no longer right. The body does not participate in that same narrative. It responds directly to the actual conditions being experienced, regardless of how much personal investment or professional identity is riding on staying the course.
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The specific sequence described here, worsening health, increasing stress, and growing difficulty in relationships, followed by measurable physical improvement immediately upon leaving, offers a clear before and after comparison that is harder to explain away than a vague, ongoing sense of unhappiness might be. A leader can rationalize away dissatisfaction for a long time, attributing it to a difficult season, a temporary staffing shortage, or a particularly challenging group of circumstances that will surely improve. It is considerably harder to rationalize away a body that visibly and measurably improves the moment a specific role ends.
There is a broader principle at work here worth naming clearly for any leader currently pushing through a role that no longer fits, regardless of how much history or investment sits behind that role. The length of time already invested in pursuing or holding a position is not, on its own, evidence that continuing to hold it is the right decision. Ten years of pursuit can lead to exactly the right role for a season, and then, just as legitimately, that same role can stop being right, without the original ten years of effort having been wasted or wrong in any way. Growth and calling are not static conditions, fixed permanently at the moment a goal is achieved. They shift, sometimes considerably, and a role that was exactly right when pursued can become genuinely wrong to continue holding, without any contradiction between those two facts.
This matters because many leaders treat a decision to leave a long pursued role as an admission that the original pursuit was somehow mistaken. That framing adds unnecessary weight to an already difficult decision. The original pursuit and the eventual departure can both be correct, evaluated honestly against the different seasons and circumstances each one actually reflects, rather than being forced into a single, consistent narrative that either the pursuit or the departure must have been the wrong choice.
The abruptness of the resignation described here, without the standard two week notice, is also worth addressing honestly, since it represents a real departure from typical professional practice. Leaving without standard notice carries genuine costs and disruptions for an organization, and it is not being recommended here as an ideal approach under ordinary circumstances. What it does illustrate is the level of urgency present in this particular situation, a body that had reached a point where even a standard, respectful transition period felt unsustainable to continue. That level of urgency is itself informative, a signal that the decision, however abruptly executed, had likely been delayed considerably longer than it should have been.
For any leader currently experiencing a persistent pattern of physical decline tied closely to a specific role, this account offers a direct and uncomfortable question worth sitting with honestly. If the physical toll continues to worsen the longer the role continues, what additional evidence is actually being waited for before treating that pattern as a legitimate signal, rather than simply a temporary cost of a demanding season that will eventually pass on its own.
Consider your own current role, or one you have held recently, and reflect honestly on whether any physical patterns, sleep, energy, recurring health concerns, have shifted noticeably during your time in it. That reflection alone will not answer every question about whether a change is warranted, but it offers a source of information that professional identity and personal narrative, on their own, often cannot provide honestly.
There is a specific reason physical signals deserve more weight than they typically receive in decisions about role fit. Most leaders develop considerable skill at rationalizing away emotional or professional dissatisfaction, telling themselves a difficult season is temporary, that things will improve once a specific challenge resolves, or that persistence is simply part of what the role requires. Physical symptoms are far more resistant to that same rationalization process, because they operate independently of the story a leader is telling herself about the situation. A body that continues to decline despite genuine effort to improve morale, adjust workload, or find new coping strategies is providing information that deserves serious consideration, even when every other indicator suggests staying the course a little longer.
It is also worth distinguishing this pattern from ordinary occupational stress, which affects nearly everyone in a demanding leadership role at some point and does not necessarily indicate the role itself is wrong. The distinguishing factor here was not simply stress, but a sustained, worsening pattern that reversed dramatically and specifically upon leaving the role, rather than fluctuating with the ordinary rhythm of a demanding job. A leader experiencing temporary stress during a difficult project or season is in a very different position than one experiencing a consistent, worsening decline that shows no improvement despite the passage of time and reasonable attempts at intervention.
For any leader sitting with a decision this significant, it is worth acknowledging that leaving a long pursued role, even when clearly warranted, still carries real grief alongside the physical relief. The two are not contradictory. A leader can feel genuine physical improvement upon leaving a role that no longer fits, while still grieving the loss of an identity, a community, or a dream that took years to build. Making room for both experiences at once, rather than expecting the physical relief to erase the grief entirely, allows for a more honest and complete transition than treating the decision as a simple, uncomplicated relief from start to finish.
-- Dr. Rhonda
The Next Step: A hard leadership decision can include the role you hold and the strain you carry. Bring the decision you are facing to The Decisions That Move People Forward™ and give it careful attention. Join the workshop.
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